Monday, June 08, 2009


I'm a little mortified that yesterday, I gave a wedding videographer the finger during a reception.

Yeah. That's classy.

I was fighting with Jacob because he was taking huge bites of the piece of cake we were sharing (he'll concur with that statement) and then invaded what I had privately considered to be "my half." Of course, the fight actually stemmed out of my feelings of insecurity being at a wedding that was almost entirely attended by Jewish people and so had a completely different energy than the Christian, secular and mixed weddings I've been to. I was feeling bad because I am taking that experience away from Jacob by marrying him. It's not a rational feeling since he insists to anyone who will listen that he feels more Jewish with me than he did with any of his Jewish ex-girlfriends and that he wants the wedding that we will have, not the gorgeous wedding that his two friends had. But it's a feeling I had that followed my nervousness that all of the strangers at the wedding would be hostile towards me since I was contributing to the depopulation of the Jewish people by marying Jacob without converting. So, I flipped out about the cake.

Still, when I looked up from this very private fight that Jacob and I were having, the last thing I expected to see was one of the videographers zoomed in on us (everyone else was dancing so I am sure it was us he was filming). Since he was 20 feet away, I felt completely helpless for how to tell him to go away. Shouting would have attracted more attention, as would making big swatting "shoo" motions. I used the only silent, discreet and undeniable piece of sign language I knew.

Still, that is so not a part of my personality 99.7% of the time and I'm embarassed that it is now permanently documented and owned by someone else.

But nothing relieves private mortification like making it public and hearing other people laugh about it. Jacob and I were able to get past the cake argument in time to dance to "At Last" and laugh about it. I'm happy to report that the other videographer got that on film, too.


Anonymous said...

You crack me up, woman. And some videographers definitely deserve the finger.

All that said, it is really interesting to me to read the thought process of the "other side" of the interfaith equation (I have sent a few of your interfaith posts to my mister!). But I will say that we yids really, really mean it when we tell you that we are better Jews when we're with you. It has only been over the past few years with the mister that I have stopped hating everything about my religion. It is easy to get intimidated by the conventional Jews, but I feel so so strongly that they are not the only way.

Ti Christophe said...

Every once in awhile the bird should be thrown....and in this case just think how funny it will be when the recipients of the video see the whole exchange followed by you flipping off the cameraman for filming it. bloody brilliant

Emily DeWan Photography said...

Hmm, can't say I've ever been flipped off shooting reception guests, but I don't shoot if I see people arguing. :)
I love interfaith weddings. I find it fascinating to see how the couple mixes the two traditions.

Christy said...

"he feels more Jewish with me" - just had to comment that I think that's neat-o!

Melanie said...

Awww your mister loves you and that is all that matters. I know Jewish parents and traditions and I am interfaith marrying also we are not killing our population by interfaith marriages I think we are making it stronger. I am and off spring from and interfaith marriage and I hold dear my Jewish roots. It is hard trying to feel accepted in a new world but they will love you no matter what faith you are just as your hunny loves you!