All my Favourite People are Broken - "I hate you. And I'm embarrassed you're my mom." "I feel you, bud." "We still have to wash your hair." **** His insults are genuine and heartfelt. And I tw...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Stamps and silliness
When I was preparing the supplementary envelope for my online grad school application with my transcripts and my letters of recommendation, I used my Muppet stamps as totems for good luck. I placed the Jim Henson picture in the upper right-hand corner, then put the Swedish Chef stamp to its left, since he is my current favorite Muppet. Next, I stuck on the Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker stamp, since they are the smartest of the Muppets. I peeled the Animal stamp off the sheet and was halfway to positioning it when I realized with a little horror that none of the actual Muppets that I had used were actually intelligible! If I was hoping that their Manitou-like spirits were going to influence my acceptance into grad school, it was possible that they might not actually be able to freaking talk with the spirits in charge of admissions to a really smart school. Wasn't I trying to communicate in my application that I was hyper-intelligent and thus, should be accepted into their program? What would Animal be able to contribute to that image, besides "Likes books. Likes books."? I slowly realized that just because he was my traditional favorite Muppet, he was not necessarily the best choice for my final totem. I put Animal back on the sheet with Miss Piggy, Kermit and Sam the Eagle, I chose Rowlf the Dog and stuck him on my envelope. Now, my mom has painted a whole room the color of Rowlf the dog and his rendition of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" can bring me to tears, so this choice was by no means a step down, simply a lateral move away from the most appealing manifestations of chaos that the Muppets provide. So, now it's time to light a little sagebrush, and chant a couple of repetitions of "It's time to play the music; it's time to light the lights; it's time to get things started, dah dah duh duh duh duh-dah," under my breath.