Ralph

I gave myself food poisoning yesterday. I ate half of a salami sandwich with sun-dried tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella and fresh basil, then left the sandwich out at the Exchange for a few hours, then ate the other half for dinner. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking, “Gee, I’m really hungry.” Then, I realized that the odd feeling in my stomach was not hunger but I wasn’t quite sure what it was in my sleep-fog. So I went naked, outside onto the front porch to get a bucket just in case. I fell asleep for a little while and then needed my bucket. It wasn’t as bad as it sometimes is: you know, when you are positive that you’re going to die and all you want to do is curl up on the cold tiles until handsome Death comes to take you. (It's a good thing I DIDN"T need to lie down for too long. Since I live in a trailer, only my torso was actually in the bathroom; the rest of me hung out into the kitchen.) As a consequence of my indiscretion, I was a little light-headed and out of it for the Farmer’s Market today. I don’t know how bulimic girls do it, with that nasty taste in the back of your throat and the light-headedness. I wouldn’t survive. People would be on to me far too quickly for me to get away with it. I have been doing better with the remembering to eat, but not that much tastes good, so it’s been a very deliberate effort. I’m hoping that the lack of taste buds is a similar symptom to the dirty dishes and the inability to make food for myself. Whatever is trying to get born without my noticing better be good. The good news is that I have a little more money lately since I’ve been getting tips in addition to my income and so buying what I can stand to eat is a little easier. Also, today Rhonda gave me several heads of butter lettuce, collard greens, some rhubarb and radishes. Mei-lan, the Vietnamese cook, gave me some ginger sauce to use for my salad. Yum.