So I've been thinking about this MadTV sketch lately because although I have spent years attempting to tame my inner irrational self, I still get people who explain some way that they've treated me by saying that they were afraid I'd make a scene. These are people that have met me in the last few years, well after I stopped making scenes. I mean, I never made a scene with Dennis, even when we were still married and I went to see him at his "temporary" apartment and he and his mistress were still asleep because he'd forgotten about our appointment. My knowledge of the mistress had not even been confirmed at that point.
But I didn't make a scene.
I don't make scenes because I want people - all people - to like me. I know. It seems odd for someone who projects independence as well as I do. But after a childhood and adolescence of making scenes, I realized that possibly part of the reason why I didn't have many friends could be that they were embarrassed, intimidated or disgusted with the intensity of my emotions. So, even when guys are breaking up with me or friends are breaking my heart, I stay calm because if I got upset, I might push them further away and the door to future reconciliation might close and lock.
Yet, something about my personality makes people fear a scene, even if experience tells them otherwise. It makes me wonder if my logic is wrong. If I should just be honest and let them react however they're going to. I certainly haven't seen much proof that my strategy actually works.
So, since history is cyclical and this trend is recurring lately, I am delighted to find this sketch again. Nicole Parker is my new hero.
10.18.17 - I can't believe the date when I write this, but we really just had our first hard frost this week. It is so very late for us, I can't remember it ever even...