Saturday, February 21, 2009

Announcement

Yesterday, I went to see my massage therapist, who I have known for 10 years.

She said, "So, mumble mumble getting married!"

I said, "How did you know?! Has my mother been talking?"

She said, "Wait, I'm getting married!"

"Oh! So am I!"

Yes, folks. It's true. Jacob and I have made the decision to get married sometime in the fall.

I enjoy being in his presence and I have very tender feelings for him that make me want to sacrifice my own comfort to make him happy, which is what I consider to be love. To quote Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, "My neural pathways have become accustomed to [his] sensory input patterns."

However, this is not what make me want to marry him. I have felt those emotions with other men. They are necessary to the process of marriage, but they are not quite enough.

I want to marry Jacob because he wants the same things out of life that I do. He wants to make the world a better place through intentional community and by being a good person. He wants a family full of laughter and simple living. He wants a life that honors God.

More importantly, I want to marry Jacob because I know from experience that he is willing to do the hard work of compromise that is required for a long-term relationship to work. He has demonstrated with his behavior and said with his voice that I am more important to him than just about everything else. Because of this, I can trust that any hurt he may cause me will not be through selfishness but will be unintentional.

There is a great freedom for me in that. Because he is deliberate about treating me well, I am free from the fear that I am not worth being treated well. I can become everything I want to become and do all the things I want to do in that safe circle created by our partnership. It is the closest thing that I will find to the unconditional love from God that gets reflected through my parents and my brothers to me.

And I intend to take advantage of it.

Jacob believes that I am capable of reciprocating this attitude. For that, I love him and will do my best to live up to his expectations.

If I do, I will come much closer to being the good person that God wants me to be.

12 comments:

Emily DeWan Photography said...

Hooray! It's really official now! :) I am so happy for you two and look forward to getting to know Jacob better.
Much love to you both.

Rachel said...

Eeeep! I echo Emily's sentiments.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Jess said...

I am so happy for you. Can't wait to see you.

Erika Haub said...

Congratulations, Rebecca! That is truly wonderful news.

Christy said...

!!! Right ON!

ABG said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! That's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful news! Hooray and hooray. I'm so happy for you.

gerbmom said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Mike Clawson said...

Wow! Congrats!

Ti Christophe said...

hey-o! wowzers! Fantastic news! Many many congratulations, Rebecca!

Mazel Tov!!

Sarah-Ji said...

HOLY COW! Congrats! I had NO idea!

Jake and Jess said...

I couldn't have verbalized better those very same reasons Jake & I decided to share our lives together.

This union between you two thrills me! Even if it did take me all evening to notice the ring :)

rickshawdiaries said...

I want to marry Jacob because he wants the same things out of life that I do. He wants to make the world a better place through intentional community and by being a good person. He wants a family full of laughter and simple living. He wants a life that honors God.

More importantly, I want to marry Jacob because I know from experience that he is willing to do the hard work of compromise that is required for a long-term relationship to work.


Beautifully said - congratulations & best wishes for a content and deeply loving marriage!

Warmly,
Baraka