Sunday, July 23, 2006


Yesterday, I was shopping for picnic food for my date. I was wearing my "I love nerds" T-shirt that I've gotten so much attention for in the past. (#47) I had thought that the attention that I had gotten from men the day I wore the shirt to the Renaissance Faire was an exception because there is such a high density of nerds there. But, walking around the city, yesterday, I discovered that there are all sorts of nerds out there: nerds from India, Latino nerds, guys in cars who waved at me. And the guy who sold me my cheese.

It started like it usually does: "So, you like nerds, huh?" Sometimes they say, "I'm a nerd." Sometimes, it just hangs there unspoken. This time, it was unspoken. He asked me what I was looking for. "Brie," I answered.

"Do you see that one over there, without a label?"

"The half-circle?"

"Yes. That one is so good it is like it was hand-crafted by God. And I'm an athiest."

I flipped the supposedly divine cheese round over and saw that it was $18. Hand-crafted by God, indeed.

However, I just recently got the last of the money that my ex-husband owes me with a little extra because he really didn't want me to take him to court which would reveal to his new wife his utter boorishness. So, I've been spending the extra on things that make me happy. I've bought a great new ring and figured that he could pay for the food for my adorable date as well.

So, I told the cheese guy that I would take it and began to walk away. He said, "Tell me if you like it. And tell me when you have your next nerd party."

"I haven't had one of those since the special edition of the first Lord of The Rings came out." I was flirting a little and took credit for my friend Mark's nerd party.

"Oh, I'm not that kind of nerd."

I was walking away, so I didn't ask the question that is now burning inside of me.

What kind of a nerd is he!?!

If he was a computer/science nerd, he would have employable skills and he would not need to work at Whole Foods. What other nerds get to scoffs at fantasy nerds? Fantasy nerds are the dominant culture within the nerd community! I mean seriously, think Dungeons and Dragons, comic books and Star Trek. What kind of isolated sub-group do you have to be to scoff at Frodo? Video games? Paleontology? I can't fathom it.

However, the cheese is as good as he said it would be. The rest will have to remain a mystery.

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