tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post763576993961848299..comments2023-10-14T08:32:48.543-05:00Comments on Wild Rumpus: Forgiveness, gratitude and joyPrincessMaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09197008991622181061noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-65730493212822909232009-11-28T12:06:33.540-06:002009-11-28T12:06:33.540-06:00my inside voice is pretty quiet right now. this ma...my inside voice is pretty quiet right now. this makes me thoughtful. thank you.Jessica Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12031934571261945172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-17872169939890744922009-11-28T07:27:22.037-06:002009-11-28T07:27:22.037-06:00I have so many thoughts right now, but don't k...I have so many thoughts right now, but don't know which are helpful. Questions, too. And not enough coffee.<br /><br />Reconciliation does require two people. I wonder if forgiveness has different levels and meanings. I was talking to one of my roommates about something that a girlfriend did that felt like a betrayal. This was almost a year ago but I was reminded of it recently by pictures of her on the Internet. My roommie asked me if she had ever asked for my forgiveness. I knew I should forgive her because that's what Jesus wants me to do, but his question stopped me in my thought process.<br /><br />We know that forgiveness is right, but I'm wondering if I can only get to the first level of forgiveness, which is in me and sort of <i>for</i> me, though connected to what God calls us to do. It's so I don't rot or ferment or seethe with anger, so I don't get (more) bitter and become worse because of their actions. It's so I can help them if they're hurting or point them to help but not stick around for coffee afterward. Perhaps there is a second level of forgiveness that comes after they ask for it. Then reconciliation comes later with both parties opting for it and working for it. <br /><br />I wonder about power in these situations.<br /><br />I wonder what happened when you came to your in-laws (the ones who seem to be choosing to behave this way, more active than your wedding pals) not to hurt them back or confront them about their indirectness (or show them how @$^%&#% lame it is) but to show them how much their actions have hurt you. What happened when you asked them to care for you more? (not because you are their son's beloved, not because you will be the bearer of the grandchildren, not because what they're doing is so very wrong... but just because you have been hurt.) Maybe in that conversation they didn't see anything beyond their agendas and outcomes. Did you go in with other outcomes in mind, too?<br /><br />I think (and I'm talking to myself here) we shouldn't convey our hurt because of motivations for power or right-ness or self-righteousness. It's hard because we know we have been wronged. We should convey it simply and solely because we want the hurt to stop. Ugh. I have failed so many times at this.<br /><br />---<br />How often are you in touch with your friends who are friends with your ex-husband?<br /><br />Let's talk sometime. I'm going to ponder more.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15449441195053616361noreply@blogger.com