tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post2830676047915130172..comments2023-10-14T08:32:48.543-05:00Comments on Wild Rumpus: And your heart was an open bookPrincessMaxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09197008991622181061noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-90328861152192706822010-09-11T07:35:11.042-05:002010-09-11T07:35:11.042-05:00I have no doubt about your time management skills....I have no doubt about your time management skills. I know that you can't "time manage" renewal time, whatever way you get it. If only! No matter how hard we try we can only make the merry-go-round slow down by slowing it down. <br /><br />love youRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15449441195053616361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-86497517462381746092010-09-08T22:32:45.544-05:002010-09-08T22:32:45.544-05:00Christy, thanks for coming back and fleshing that ...Christy, thanks for coming back and fleshing that out a little. Reading more about your experience helps me to better understand your advice. (I can get some pretty intense tunnel vision.) I've been ruminating on it for a couple of days and I'm trying to figure out what to let go and how because I trust that you're right. At least, it resonates like truth to me. I haven't figured it out yet but just being pushed to imagine it as a good thing has opened the door a crack. <br /><br />Ali, I keep prompting other longer-married couples to talk about the cyclical nature of their marriages and they say what you say. I find I can never hear it enough. Seriously, what is it in me that resists the normalization of seasonal retreat?PrincessMaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09197008991622181061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-26436414147421149032010-09-02T11:17:49.445-05:002010-09-02T11:17:49.445-05:00I don't know the answer, but if you have refle...I don't know the answer, but if you have reflections on it, please share them. I think about a version of this question a lot: "Is it worth it if I end up without any communicty except..." for me I'd fill in the blank with "my husband and kids."<br /><br />I don't know if it's worth it, but I do have faith that it's a "season" of life. The first two years after I got married were like this. I had started to find equilibrium and branch out into friendships and community more fully and then we had kids.<br /><br />Now I'm in that "young children" phase, and again, I'm pretty confident that it doesn't last forever, and I'll emerge.<br /><br />The problem is the "meantime..." and all the losses I sustain when one of these phases hits (loss of particular friends, or particular connections)ABGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00603257021104542647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-70181968853347490702010-09-02T07:41:30.948-05:002010-09-02T07:41:30.948-05:00One thing that has nibbled at me after reading thi...One thing that has nibbled at me after reading this post and your comment: I was the unhappy leader of a local organization for a long time and felt that the consequences of stepping down would be more difficult than the stress I felt in the leadership commitment. When I quit, it was uncomfortable, but it passed, and I look back knowing that I gave several years of effort to the cause, and that it is up to some other people to commit *their* energies too. I don't know if this is at all relevant to your situation - I just know that, like you, I was struggling through weighing the pros and cons of my commitments. There have been several commitments in my life where I felt like I simply could not tolerate the results of scaling them back. Each time, I've been surprised and relieved when I've finally let go. Also, I've been going through some transitions in friendships since getting married and moving 50 miles away. There are some people I miss but there just isn't enough of me to go around in order to stay close. I think this is just a natural part of relationships. I hope you get to feeling better about all of this... be gentle with yourself. XOChristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09796763577593945099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-69335985160759608852010-08-31T13:19:43.389-05:002010-08-31T13:19:43.389-05:00I appreciate the thought, Christy. I guess that I...I appreciate the thought, Christy. I guess that I would categorize that solution under basic time management that I already do. I'm not sure that more of it would help since I would just trade this difficult situation for the difficult situation of not raising enough money for my church or making my friends feel less valued. Is it worth it if I end up without any community except Jacob?PrincessMaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09197008991622181061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942601.post-51553164721638242052010-08-31T12:12:09.506-05:002010-08-31T12:12:09.506-05:00I say pare down the # of commitments and increase ...I say pare down the # of commitments and increase the amount of "free time". Focus on some shared fun time with Jacob and crafty fun time with yourself. I learn this shit the hard way over and again. Good luck!Christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09796763577593945099noreply@blogger.com